sittin in study hall [29 Sep 2004|11:30am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | wirkkala's study hall ] so i havent updated in awhile but it doesnt really matter. just been busy lately with volleyball and school. back on the team since i did all my makeup work. school is going ok. might apply for a job at chunkys tomorow since i need one. need money to go to that incubus concert in october......and i need a car cause my moms being a bitch about me taking hers. fuck her. alllll pink today, even with makeup so its a little....different. ummm, last thursday gauged up to a 4 in my first holes and they are already almost healed. tried puttin my 2nd holes to a 6, but i screwed up my right ear. oh well, game today in interlakes that we'll probably lose since they are wicked good. game saturday against winnisquam, its their homecoming game...then the night football game in pelham, wooot woot! who knows when ill update next so comment bitches lost without the thought of you

arts and crafts [18 Sep 2004|07:22pm] school friday, practice after...sucky. went to kerries last night for volleyball bonding, ended up being like 5 people. haha and i drove to nowhere alot. woke up at 6 and left at 730 to work for 8,. but it rained so i wroked with evelyn instead cleaning some house in thorton...nice house, it was fun to clean......lots of pineapples and elephants. wicked tired now so ill proably pass out and tomorrow work on makeup shit and prollystayin home cause i have no car lost without the thought of you

been awhile [15 Sep 2004|06:13pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | senses fail ] so some stuff has gone on. we had to forfeit our win last week cause an inelidgble player played...being me. but not i have some stupid shit ass projects to do so i can play again so i guess thats good. umm, shit went down between ash and me but after today it looks like things are lookin up, or ill get my ass kicked. got my license monday finally. after our game eysterday i drove to market basket and saw greg at work and we talked for awhile which was sweet. today was a half day so we got out around 11:30, and doug brought me home. and i got told today that i should be a cheerleader? i was like what? but i came home and folded some laundry, then i went over to marks to see him and matt, then drove them to cassies so i could pick up her and tylor before practice. jenn freaked out when matt showed up, hahaha. ash called so we could talk more so i went over quick. then on theback to cassies i saw jp and picked him up. then i brought the 3 goons over to ashleys and then drove over to high school and got distracted by tylor and cassies new thing shes got goin on, hahadid some work to make up during practice and practied for 15 minutes. mark and matt showed up so i drove them to marks and met cassie to see dereks mom, but she wasnt home so i brought home cassie then picked up evelyn from work and came home. school tomorrow but i get my dads tracker thing but i gotta bring evelyn to work and pick her up but i dont mind that at all. lost without the thought of you

beaten [08 Sep 2004|10:48pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | the early november ] long ass day today....i can understand math work in class, just not out of it. school went ok, long but ok. game afterwards against raymond....we played ok, better than i expected but we should have won. lost 3-2, and another game tomorrow against hillsboro-deering, which it home. game next week against gilford, first away game, whoo-hoo.....yeah right. time to get slaughtered. lost without the thought of you

ULTIMATE chocolate milk [07 Sep 2004|06:45pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | 180 by summer - tbs ] umm, home and not wanting to do advanced math homework at all! oh my god, i hate this class already. sunday night i actually got a life and went out. it was pretty fun, saw some kid i remember from somewhere??? and met a couple people too which was cool...funny shit. hung out with greg monday which was cool, went and got alex, and kevin came over. they skated and what not in tilton. me being me just walked around with my handy dandy purse. his mom brought me home around 7. did some homework and went to bed since no one was on. beautiful school today! amandas car still sucks and i missed the bus so my dad gave me a ride. first period saw so fucked/stupid reaction in chemistry, got to touch the hard thing it made at the end, it was like one of those weird snake fireworks that you light and it grows into more ash. 2nd period was review of the homework i sucked at, chocolate chip muffins at break, fuck yeah. that made my mornin. jeff got me during 'snack time' and i went to madames, gonna take latin III as an independant study, easy A and easy credit, so why not? sat in the library 4th with cassie, josh and bruce. 5th i went to my new study hall....no way can i stay in there, so i went down to wirkkala's room and hung with ash. 5th started some proster project with britt. then lunch finally, sat with roger, krystle, kerries brother nick and jeff cause he has study hall i think. talked to nick about sunday, it was fun. 7th no quiz for the story i didnt read! so i doodled in my notebook. 8th was gym..played volleyball. then went to.....volleyball practice, how convienent? found out derek's mom wants to see me since its been awhile, so i really have to get my license monday. came home, showered, now i gotta do that math homework. been listenin to the new taking back sunday cd. im fallin in love with it just like the last...haha thought of you

good ol' mornin update [05 Sep 2004|09:05am] so yesterday.....haha, decent day. made up for shit ass school this week. woke up around 9 and did nothing til around 1, then roger picked me up and we went to the football game. sat with wirkkala for a little, then he moved. then we moved and derek's family sat next to us, said hi to taylor and his mom, good seein her. saw my little middle school stalkers from last year. ( haha cassie you should know who ) saw jared and said hi since i didnt last time, good catching up. met up with courtney around 3rd quarter, saw justin and his girlfriend. went for a walk with court. saw michele baca and said hi and stuff, then saw kimma and talked. we ended up winning the game 13-6 against newfound. weiiird game, like 4 people got a cramp, some newfound kid did get hurt, and just how the game was played....but anyways. roger brought me to mcdonalds, then we went to birdys for ice cream and he brought me home. sat around for a little since i was booooored. talked to pat and then hung out with him. went down to the mall and he talked to someone he knew. then went to pizza market and saw nicole robbins and talked with her, had the hottest wings EVER! oh man they were brutal. then some crazy lady behind me started talking to me, cause i asid i was from hill.....and it went on from there. so happy i left. then he brought me home and i passed out around 12. so now i wake up around 8???too fuckin early and i kinda cant fall asleep so i did this, but anyways yeah. today im up for nothin since i dont have any plans, probably do my advanced math homework since i have tons of it cause shorey blows. might hang out with greg tomorrow finally since he has a day off from work........but im out for now so ill update at soem other point tomorrow or omething lost without the thought of you

the past two days... [03 Sep 2004|07:48pm] [ mood | cold ] yesterday...was school and practice...yeah that sums it up. and today...was that too, except i wore the sweet heel shoes i bought and almost fell twice. haha but its good. practice wasnt that bad with just wirkkala, got out and watched some of the soccer game with nicole hughes then my mom got me. came home, showered and im in for the night since i didnt make plans. desperately trying to go to the football game tomorrow, maybe gettin a ride from roger. the rest of my weekend though is lookin pretty blank though... *the ride to laconia, there you go nelson, haha who needs a taxi lost without the thought of you

booooored [01 Sep 2004|10:29pm] ( PiCtUrEs ) lost without the thought of you

first day of school [01 Sep 2004|06:42pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | little devotional - taking back sunday ] ( my first day of school behind a cut cause i thought the entry was long and this shortens it ) thought of you

take it away [30 Aug 2004|06:21am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | 100.1 fm the Planet ] so whats to say? friday went to an hour of preseason....some freshman is playin which is cool, the outlook is looking better :D then my dad got me, went with him and evelyn to maine for the weekend which was cool. it was another flyin in east livermore, maine...thats not a reminder when everything around you says "LIVERMORE". haha, went to some yard sailing with evelyn got the sweeest skirt, i like it, for a quarter. sunday just draaaaaggggged on, tore down camp and whatnot. they had some meeting, so we didn't leave til 3. stopped in gorham and had pizza, then travelled. got home by 8. talked to greg :p and showered, then looked for my birth certificate cause im going for my license this morning! haha, notice how its only 6:25 ish and im updatingl...yeah its early, but gotta get used to it for wednesday! hopefully get the license today, cause then i think im headin over to tilton for the afternoon :D, i cant wait, itll be my motovation to pass! dont want school this week, but itll be VERY different and i dont know how ill like it ++EDIT++7:39pm so i hate ambulances, cause they make me fail my driving test. i was so psyched this morning, drive down to concord. wait in line, and get my eye test,pass! then go into another room for my written exam...wait in line...pass only one wrong! then i went and sat in the parking lot for an hour next to some fucking crazy africans who need to speak english and learn to work a car alarm. so the guy gets in and i start my test, sweet so far so good. then on the main road (loudon road) an ambulance drives by with its sirens on. so im like ok, its in the oncoming lane i dont have to pull over. so i dont and then they guy asks me what you do when that happens, and i told him what i thought and got it wrong. went on with the rest of the test adn hes like pull into a spot, i was like sweet, no hard parking! then i shut the car off look at his paper and its got a check under the auto fail cause i didnt pull over for that shitty ambulance. fuckers, so i get rescheduled in 10 days but it doesnt matter, cause my mom has to work and wont take it off, so i gotta wait 2 weeks...which is august 13...so im pissed. the rest of my day consisted of being bummed out cause my plans were ruined and i just as really bored. supposed to hang out with pat tomorrow and maybe go shopping with cassimifer, cause were cool like that and its something cool to do before school wednesday lost without the thought of you

::pounding at the door:: [26 Aug 2004|06:47pm] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | the washing machine ] so yesterday consisted of preseason, which was shortened due to making stuff for freshman orientation cause were gonna con some of the little ones to play hopefully. met two of the exchange students, another one from germany, her names ann...and thats all i have. talked with pat in the hallway will cass for a little bit. then left with my mom and went to wal*mart and market basket. went to mcdonalds and my mom tied french fries together to give to the birds...shes weird, then as i drove away the birds chased after the car cause my mom was still throwin fries out the window. came home and cleaned my room some. styaed up til like 2 cause i couldnt sleep. worked this morning for my dad, which meant skippin vball for a day, easiest $60 bucks ive made in awhile...picked up some sticks and pshed these little button thigns and added a tube to them and handed it to my dad. very easy and it made me some money so im happy. came home around 3. carl said he might show up around 4:30 but he never did, so i napped from like 4 til 6 :30, and wake up now with a massive headache. good news though, cassie got my uniform so im excited #5, yeah! haha, its fun. last day of preseason tomorrow, and more cleaning of my room since i have nothing else to do. lost without the thought of you

so yeah... [23 Aug 2004|01:07pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | water pump running ] ...due to me being an idiot and coming home late saturday night, im grounded, no idea how long cause my mom doesnt know? how fucked. but that and i cant get my license, but, my mom and i were talking and i might get it but just not use it (makes sense) til im ungrounded or whatever. i just want it, dont care if i cant go anywhere right now. volleyball was ok today, watched some of last nights game between the usa and china (floor team). it was fun, then did 50694753842 drills. 2 new people...it makes practice tough when you want to tell one of them to shut up, and just help the other..oh well. i need some new ear gear cause these plugs arent cuttin it...not long enough plus a pain to keep clean, i need something different so itll help the healing process. btu with lack of money, this doesnt help. ill be destined to get a job soon enough. lost without the thought of you

[22 Aug 2004|12:11pm] This is where I say I've had enough And no one should ever feel the way that I feel now A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises And I don't believe that I'm getting any better Any better Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring And I'm thinking awful things Pretty sure that few would notice And this apartment is starving for an argument Anything at all to break the silence Wandering this house like I've never wanted out And this is about as social as I get now thought of you

dont let life pass you by [20 Aug 2004|10:45pm] [ mood | awful ] [ music | incubus ] so, today was friday. went to work with my mom til 11:40ish, then sarah (cassies cousin) picked me up and brought me to the high school for our scrimmage. we left around 12:30 and went to pittsfield. it was ok. i got wicked frustrated half the time, but thats just me. we had pizza afterwards with the girls from there which was cool i suppose, one of them was like are your ears gauged? and i was like uhhhh, what? haha, i wasnt expecting that, weird. bus ride home was cool. drove home. my mom got me the best chocolate ice cream from some place in bristol, made me happy. watched some movie, then did my eyebrows. moped around, which lead to thinking, which lead to missing...and i fucking miss derek so much, so i lose it. but what do you expect, its eating away at me. thought of you

today wanst too bad.... [19 Aug 2004|07:42pm] [ mood | curious ] [ music | dashboard- places you have come to fear the most ] volleyball starts the day at 8, only ran a mile and a quarter cause of the scrimmage tomorrow. left for drivers ed class around 10...took a test, got one wrong and fixed it so i passed the class, im done. probably going for my license on monday which kicks ass. pat picked me up after class and we hung oout, went to concord so he could pass in shit for nhti, then back to his house. he brought me to the library for 3ish, and i met john and we hung out with nick post, it was fun. drove around, saw dan (my mind freaked out ????),burned some cds, got some much needed food. got home around 7:15, now im stuck home for the evening. scrimmage tomorrow in pittsfield around 2, so were leaving at 12:30 i think or something. get home around like 6....how cute. thought of you

same day, same story [18 Aug 2004|08:15pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | rye airfield comp. ] umm, volleyball....soreness. drivers ed......81 on my open book test, passed in road trip project, last class tomorrow. mom brought me home....watched garfield and took a nap, got woken up and pissed off, which pissed my dad off. tomorrow volleyball, the drivers ed, then library, hanging out with john tomorrow which should be cool. dad's going to maine for the weekend, gotta feed his cat. school is back in two weeks...how im going to dread this year thought of you

step two is to the back of your head [17 Aug 2004|08:50pm] [ mood | sore ] ughh....today was cool. well. minus the two miles i ran again this morning...but hey i did it non stop, so i was happy about that. then did passing drills inside and crap. left around 9:45 for drivers ed. eric bought me a drink and we talked some in class. did some gay map thing, so i know how to read it. learned how to put on a spare tire.....took a test on our book. i have an 89 in the class. gotta do the project for it tonight though. then after class went back with vball with greg for the last 15 minutes for more passing. went with cassie to her house so me and greg could get a ride, me and her gotta hang out soon. then went up to gregs and showered, and while i was doing that brady, david and sheldon showed up. tried to steal david with greg but that didnt work, brady got him first for the reason we wanted him, haha. but they left and we walked to the store, came back. brady and them showed back up. in our smoothness, me greg and brady got to gregs room alone for adult time....hahaha, it was funnnn. then they came back a couple hours later and left. then me and greg watched somt tivvee and him and his mom brought me to my moms work. vball in the morning til 10 again and drivers ed, then home afterwards for once! thought of you

today was....different [16 Aug 2004|09:14pm] [ mood | curious ] [ music | some tunes on the cd ] so my ass woke up at 6:45 to shower before preseason...wow my ass got kicked. after brainstorming shit for a half hour, around 8:30 we go run two miles.....how FUN, reminds me why you shouldnt do certain things haha, but oh well. did some more passing, running, hitting, etc. for the rest of the time...which was til noon...lots of water breaks, and old school tunes, haha. then cassie drove me up to greg's, so we got to hang out til 5 which was pretty cool i thought, had fun. dad picked me up and i had to drive to hannafords *starts to sit up in the clouds* almost hit some pole, haha...and drove by justin, who i dont see in ages? weird but cool. go into the store, and i basically see everyone i thought i couldnt see at the time..steve donahue, actually at work?? then at the checkout see cj and semir...got another application to pass in after drivers ed is over. justin was in front of me so we said hi and shit, caught up and gave him my number to keep in touch. then saw jp and was like woah....thats something you dont see too often. mcdonalds after cause i just happened to be hungry....then aired up the tires on the tracker cause one was wicked low, and i pull out of the gas station, josh drives by....again, why did i just see that many people in a matter of 15 minutes? fucked up is what i thought. came home, ate some food...preparing for another way to get my ass kicked tomorrow at preseason...get to leave early cause of drivers ed though, so only gotta deal with two hours....nice. cleaned my ears...how gross, they look a little better though, think im gonna keep them at a 6 til maybe the end of vball...then who knows whats gonna happen. thought of you

few days have been...like a day [15 Aug 2004|11:58am] [ mood | hyper ] [ music | less than jake ] so since....friday? i got those plugs in, the fuckers. saturday morning woke up and went over to gregs. him and sheldon were there. eventually brady and david came over, and we left for awhile. all hung out most of the day. gregs mom brought me home around 930 and no one was home, cute. my mom woke me up when she got home and asked me a bunch of shti i dont remember cause i was sleeping while she asked..and i ansswered so. woke up around 10ish this morning, mom and leejay left around the same time. home alone for the rest of the day since i dont have any plans. oh yeah, kevin managed to get stabbed in the eye by a knife, how wonderful is that? pretty sure hes ok, minues the eye or something, i dont know. i tried to clean one of my ears today before i got in the shower, but as soonn as i took off an elastic blood started to pour out so...that normally isnt a good sign. i took it and cleaned it and put it back in, deciding not o touch them for awhile til they feel healed aor at least wont bleed on me. thought of you

[13 Aug 2004|07:32pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | silverstein ] greg got me new plugs last night cause he broke one of me other ones. so i managed to put them in today after it taking forever. went from a 10 to a 6...wonderful thought of you

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